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Monday, November 18, 2013

Not quite to the Grand Canyon of Pennsylvania yet.

What, don’t tell me you never heard of it! Neither had we, before starting our trip planning. Another reason Johnny-town was so appealing, was that it’s right next to this thing, sort of. Anyway, not a real long drive, which is always good for us and the dogs.

But wait! I have to backtrack to Gettysburg for a moment. This is what happens when you don’t review your notes before you publish an entry. So first let me say the Country Inns and Suites at Gettysburg were a huge leap up the socio-economic ladder from Red Roof Inns. I chose it because it was in Gettysburg (not at some distance, where hotels are definitely cheaper), and because I figured, for a long stay, we could do the luggage cart thing. And there were no Red Roofs within a long, long way, either. And yeah, the pool and spa always figure in. So we got there, and went in the pool and spa, and it was great. We actually went in there all three days, especially since because of the rain we couldn’t go anywhere else! So the second night we went in the spa, as I took off my cover-up, Joyce said to me, “Have you got your bathing suit on inside out?” And sure enough, I did. It’s a featureless black and I didn’t pay attention. So there it was, seams out. But not very noticeable. She told me “No one will notice. Let’s go in.”

So we got in the pool and cavorted around a while like we always do; no one else was there anyway. Eventually Joyce wanted to switch to the spa so we got in and were joined by another retired couple and chatted with them until they went swimming. This, it seemed to me, was just the right time to take off my suit and reverse it. Joyce had gone back into the pool so that meant I wouldn’t have to argue with her. And the spa is all bubbly so you can’t see anything in there anyway.

I got the suit off, no problem. And then I turned it right side out, a bit more of a challenge because I had forgotten that those same jets that make the bubbles to hide under are strong enough to rip your suit out of your hands. Then I tried to put it on. Then another couple came in, an Eastern European couple, maybe Russian or Greek; anyway not speaking any language I recognized. Now don’t get ahead of me here; just let it play out.

So the couple had a discussion and decided to try the spa first. By this time I had tried several times to step into the suit, but forget it. A suit my size is like a sail and it just wanted to fly all over the spa without me. Then I realized I had no idea how many minutes were left on the timer. I could be exposed at any minute. I called Joyce to come back and she yells, “Why?”

Right. I’m going to tell her! I just gave her that look spouses give one another and she came and got in. Then we had to casually back me into a corner (the spa was quite huge) with her between me and them, trying to hold the suit down. Of course she’s laughing and trying to suppress that so as not to draw attention, but luckily the woman was extremely self-absorbed, ordering the man around, complaining and carrying on (you didn’t need to know their language to get the picture), so that two fat lesbians, one naked, both struggling with a big black suit in a corner of the spa, weren’t even on her radar.

Anyway, I managed to get the thing back on and we ran and jumped in the pool, overheated from all our exertions. Luckily the timer didn’t run out for several more minutes, giving the European woman something else to complain about while we all tried to mime to the man how to turn it back on. So from now on I’ll check my suit before I leave my room! Of course you would love to see pictures of this, and of course, I would love to share some with you, but there aren’t any! But here’s a link to a picture of the pool and spa, anyway. There’s a gallery of four pictures. It’s easy to click on the right one.

Of course I can't add a link, not even by following the instructions (!). So just C&P if you want to see it, and use your imagination.


  1. That is hilarious! Nothing like that has never happened to me. Seriously. Great story!

    If I had known you all were going to be hitting Gettysburg, there's a wonderful B&B I could have recommended. My BF and I went there one year for our anniversary. It's very close to the Battlefields, and it's quiet with a bit of history to it.

    Oh, well. I'm glad you've enjoyed your trip!