See Rock City

Perhaps you’ve seen these signs. They’re everywhere on the way to Chattanooga, like South of the Border and Wall Drug. But we had no idea what it was, and concluded it was a rock shop on top of Lookout Mountain. Okay, color us too lazy to do homework on it, but we had other things on our agenda.

Such as my trip to the local VA. When I called them, I got the place I was trying to find the previous day, and they told me to come back there. That would have been a 200 mile round trip! I said, “Uh-uh. Please get me in here.” So after some dialing around, they arranged a local visit and we went there. Joyce dropped me off and took the dogs to a local kennel. By the time she came back, I was done. Why? Well, it was 11 AM and they couldn’t see me until 4 PM. Laden with pills as I already am, I consulted with a nurse and he said if I could stand it, I’d be better off going home to Tampa, and I should drive there now.

When I got done laughing at that concept and explaining both how we drive, and that no one in their right mind drives around Atlanta on a Friday, he still thought it would be better to go home, even if it took two days. So I bade him a fond farewell and we went to see Rock City.

Consulting our schedule and location, we decided to let the kids stay overnight at the vet, and drove up Lookout Mountain, which as luck had it, was right by our hotel anyway. And on Lookout Mountain, part of which is in Georgia, there are three attractions: Rock City, the funicular, and Ruby Falls.

Did I say it was hot as hell? Well, consider it said and repeated ad infinitum. So when we got to the Ruby Falls visitor center, even Joyce was willing to go into a cave, because they’re cool. If you remember, she backed out of Wind Cave and I went by myself. And again, people problems. Joyce goes up to buy tickets, and an older man is explaining her options. Up comes another man, and the clerk (same age as other visitor) assumes he is speaking for Joyce, cancels her order and ignores her to talk to the man who pushed in.

She went ballistic. I thought she was going to rip his throat out. The fool behind the counter made a sexist, stereotypical assumption because the other visitor rudely pushed in next to Joyce instead of waiting in line. Guess who’s getting a letter when we get home. So after she refused the apology and left, we sat outside for a while, and then I went back in and got different tickets from another clerk.

And eventually we got down into the cave, still in a very bad mood, but Lauren, the guide, was sweet and funny, and it was wonderfully cool and absolutely beautiful. The Falls themselves are among the most beautiful things I have ever seen. You must go. Seriously.

A link to get you started: http://www.rubyfalls.com/

And a few pictures.





The second one was the best I could do in a cave with water spraying all over. But Lauren told us if you google "Ruby Falls" you can find really great shots of every formation in there.

We were down there about an hour in a group of 60, including Boy Scouts from Texas, and while you might expect this to have been torture, they were really funny. In fact, Joyce, who had been so royally pissed off, and rightfully so, ended up shopping for souvenirs! We agreed that we hadn’t seen anything this good since the Black Hills.


And here's a couple more:





But that was only the first half of our experience, because we had also bought tickets to Rock City, and even at that point, we weren’t sure what it was. We thought now it might be a city made out of rocks, like Madurodam in Amsterdam, which is made out of Legos, or something. But we got back in the car and drove up there because we wanted to see the view from the top of Lookout Mountain, and Rock City was at the very tippy top, whatever it was. So back into the car and up the mountain, and into Georgia, to our surprise, and soon we were here:

http://www.seerockcity.com/

Somebody thought it would be fun to enhance Parent Nature, and they did a decent job. It really didn’t need much enhancement, but in order to make it accessible, they may have fooled around with it a bit more than we would if we discovered such a phenomenon today. It’s private, so of course they can do as they please with it. Did I mention it was hot that day? Well, this was the place to be, because when you get down in these crevices and caves, it’s delightful.










There was also homemade lemonade and Dippin’ Dots and other cold things to ingest. Let’s just call it a gigantic rock garden on top of a mountain with some waterfalls thrown in for good measure. We were very pleasantly surprised by the whole thing, and selfishly glad we put the kids in the kennel or else we could not have seen it.

The pools were still unusable when we returned. The “Quality” Inn people shrugged when we complained the pool was still dirty, and the “Comfort” Inn people lied and said those were the legally required temperatures for their pool (hot) and spa (cold). And the reason their lobby is full of flies is that they serve rotten eggs for breakfast. So they went on our shit list, and we went to dinner. Did you know Hardee’s makes a Creamsicle milkshake? Try it soon; it’s seasonal.

Choo-chooing along to Chattanooga

So finally, either a day late or two days early, we set off for Chattanooga. Although, as I said, we had no internet at the Big Crappie, I was able to get a cell phone signal, so we got our subsequent reservations changed to accommodate our new situation.

Again, from the Kentucky border to Chattanooga isn’t that far, but there are a lot of route changes, and again, Joyce drove while I navigated. Driving out of Kentucky into Tennessee we went through some really beautiful scenery, and we were sorry we hadn’t been able to see more of it. So we will go back, but this time, from the Tennessee side. Only got a little lost in Clarksville, and then decided as long as it was on the way, we’d stop at the Murfreesboro VA hospital.

But the fates had other ideas. We followed the one sign we saw to get off the interstate and then there weren’t any more. And we asked directions several times, and either they had no idea or sent us off on a wild goose chase. I have no idea if we ever got anywhere near it or not, but after an hour, we were sick of it and decided to try the VA in Chattanooga when we got there.

Joyce was right about that long steep hill, and it really unnerved her, and I couldn’t drive. Last time she drove it was in an ice storm, so this was a little better. A lot of trucks, but it was clear and hot. Boy, was it hot! A huge change in temperatures once we got out of Illinois, and it stayed hot all the way home. And all the way to Chattanooga, the scenery was just fantastic, and reminded us why we wish we lived in Tennessee. Who knows, maybe someday, if the housing market ever recovers.

Crossed back into Eastern time just before Chattanooga, so we lost an hour, but easily found the hotel. And holy Toledo, what a dump! But as I said below, if it’s a day or two, you’re inclined to endure it, and anyway, it wasn’t so bad on the surface, at least to start. As Joyce registered, I could see the pool and kids were in it, but it looked pretty good to me all the same. We were burning up.
Skedaddled off to our room to unpack and change and went to the pool. Kids gone, pool hot. Moreover, pool dirty, like they don’t clean their filters. They also had an indoor pool, but it was down for maintenance. When we complained, they sent us next door to the “Comfort” Inn, which also had an indoor pool and reciprocal privileges. We went there. Pool hot! Spa cold! We sat in the spa. At least it was clean.

When we left, we told the desk people perhaps they had their temperature controls reversed. We saw that once before, a hot pool and a cold spa, in Tifton, Georgia. So they said they would fix it, and went to change and eat. We were in there for two nights to allow me time at the VA, and we figured we’d check it out again the next day.

And that was pretty much our day. Oh, except the wifi didn’t work and I had to use the hotel’s computer station to catch up, and that’s how I discovered the lobby was full of flies. We wondered why that was, but we found out the next day. And so will you!

Rain rain go away so I can get my dislocated elbow fixed

So, we were at the Resort-Marina for four days when we decided we’d had enough days. Started packing up. Joyce went and told them we’d be leaving early the next morning, and we’d forfeit our payment. As I said, we had TV, and as the weather had been so bad for the whole trip, we decided we’d better keep an eye on it. All day as we packed, it rained on and off. And all around us, there was bad weather, including tornados.

Got up in the morning to finish packing and leave, and Tennessee was just pouring rain and tornados from one end of the state to the other, and our route would take us through all of it. Of course it was sunny right where we were. But with my arm, Joyce would have had to drive the whole way in bad weather, and she knew there was a long steep downhill stretch outside of Chattanooga. We opted to stay put and Joyce went and told the management. Then we went back to bed, and when I got up, since we were all packed, I spent the day blogging (but not on-line) and watching the revolution in Iran).

At that point, my arm still felt “just” dislocated to me, but I did want to get to a doctor. However, I was able to move it more with less pain every day, so one more day wasn’t going to make a lot of difference. As it turned out, of course, it was broken! But I didn’t find that out until I got home, and it still didn’t make any difference.

Beale Street, Memphis

Joyce drove almost all the way up here from Jackson, because Liz couldn't stay awake. Motel is in the industrial outskirts of Memphis. Third La Quinta, third pool not ready for the season. Raised hell. Contacted La Quinta. They refunded Tallahassee stay. All righty, then!

Did our usual bag and dog drag into the room, hot and mad. Why do they think it suddenly gets hot on Memorial Day? Hello! The weather doesn't read our calendar. It gets hot when it damned well pleases, and everyone should know when that is.

Anyway, the reason we chose Memphis at all was two restaurants in the area, Dyer's Burgers on Beale Street and the one we'll discuss in the next blog. So after an annoying arrival and an understanding of our location vis a vis Beale Street, Joyce cleverly called a cab. We got an overly-talkative Sudanese driver and no air conditioning. He asked our relationship and we said "Married! For almost 22 years!" which he took to mean "sisters." We let him rabbit on and hoped we wouldn't get him for the return trip. Just because we called Arrow Cab, that doesn't mean we're straight.

Beale Street is a combination of Key West, Greenwich Village and New Orleans, but very much smaller. Seedy characters rubbing shoulders with gawking tourists. Street entertainment. Mostly bars, live, competing music. Head shops, souvenir stands, lots of neon, lighted caleches. (No, don't e-mail me; look it up. I'm a teacher).






Walked two and a half blocks to Dyer's and were constantly harassed by barkers to enter bars and restaurants. Street is closed to motor vehicles so we walked in the middle to escape them.

Here is Dyer's. They deep fry their burgers in 97-year old oil. Bring your Immodium.

http://www.dyersonbeale.com/



We bought mandatory postcards, keychain and refrigerator magnets, and got a cab back. This driver was a very talkative local who apparently felt she alone was responsible for continued tourism. I guess there's no such thing as a quiet cab driver in Memphis. I always feel we have to entertain cab drivers. Why can't they just shut up and drive?

It's really nice to stop for two days. A chance to rest up and sleep in and not haul baggage. The dogs are tired, too. They go into their cages to rest, or hide under furniture. They seem to like rest stops, parks and sniffing, but it probably wears them out a little.

Tomorrow we return to Mississippi. No, we didn't forget anything. We'll explain later.