Mitchell: The Corn Palace

Off to the Corn Palace! What could be more thrilling? You just haven’t lived until you have seen this, clearly an overlooked wonder of the Western world. I mean it must be, because so many people make the 16 mile round-trip detour from the interstate. When you arrive at this magnificent edifice, you are surrounded by at least half a dozen other people, all in awe of corn art.



As the signs say, “You will be a-maized at this incredible ear-chitecture!” The only thing is, it’s not quite as advertised. It’s not ALL corn, and there’s an unrelated building squished right up against it so it only has three sides. Liar liar pants on fire! And guess what! From the minute they create the annual mural, birds start eating it.



Nonetheless, it was still pretty interesting. If you look at it from a certain angle, you can see all the pieces of corn sticking out.



The current design includes the Space Needle, the Space Shuttle, Crazy Horse and Mount Rushmore, in a sort of angular, modern style in sepia tones. The theme is "America's Destinations," and here’s the site.

http://www.cornpalace.com/index.php

If you ever find yourself in the area, go see it. They work hard to stay ahead of the birds. And if you are in Mitchell, South Dakota, there’s not a lot else to do anyway.

The Needles Highway/Crazy Horse

Once again, back into Custer State Park, but this time, for a geology lesson. The Needles Highway winds its way through incredible rock formations and is just Joyce’s favorite kind of road ever: steep, narrow, windy and very distracting, between the formations themselves and the usual abundance of wildlife. Partway through, I just had to quit driving because her constant shrieking was too stressful. When she drives and I ride, it’s a lot quieter. The only problem is, she hates driving. I do most of it unless I’m too tired or it’s dark. But when she carries on so much that it’s a distraction, I quit. She says she can’t help it. I don’t get it, because when she drives, I sleep unless we’re looking at scenery. The last time I was even IN an accident was 1993, and I was rear-ended. So I don’t know why she’s so terrified.
So at least when she drives, I get to see a bit more. This highway deserves its own link, so here it is.

http://www.waymarking.com/waymarks/WM1ZMC

And here are a few of our photos:







The ranger told us, on the way in, it takes about an hour and a half to drive the highway. Yeah, if you go at max speed and never stop to look at anything, but then, why bother? So I guess it took us four or five hours. Just like the Wildlife Loop, you want to stop and see what shows up. And there are all the stunning vistas, too. Joyce says, "If there's a pull-out, there must be some reason for it." Naturally we didn't miss a one, and several required at least a short hike to get the best views. Along the way we saw a lot of animals, but the cutest was the Least Chipmunk.






We never got to see mountain goats or bighorn sheep, though, so it's lucky we saw them in Bear Country.

On the way back to Custer, we stopped to see Crazy Horse. They have been working on it a really long time, and only the face is complete, but it's still impressive and in an ethno-historic way, makes a lot more sense than Mount Rushmore. By the time we got here

http://www.crazyhorsememorial.org/

Joyce was wiped out from the driving and conked out. But as you'll learn in my next entry, she had the last laugh, even though she never went inside the Visitor Center. I did go in, and read all the info and saw the movie and subsequently wanted to mortgage our house and send them all our money. I settled for buying a bag of souvenirs instead.





Rushmore is impressive for reasons I promise to discuss soon, but this is better. So go to their online store and buy something, and promise yourself you'll visit if you ever get out to the Black Hills.

Home on the range

At last! The fog lifts enough for us to see some distance, so we head back to Custer State Park, but not before breakfast sandwiches at Subway. You may wonder why not eat the “complimentary” continental breakfast at Super 8. Because they stop serving it at 9 AM! Hello! No one comes to Custer who isn’t on vacation. We’re not getting up early. So we never actually ate there, although we customarily do take advantage of the included (Who do they think they’re fooling? You pay!) breakfast.

Never mind. We have to stop talking about rotten hotels and crappy people and get to the point of this trip: sight-seeing. Although the reason we came all this way was Rushmore and Crazy Horse, there is a lot more to South Dakota, and the Black Hills. They are so pristine and so beautiful, I’m surprised it isn’t more crowded. But it’s quite remote, too. I could see living close to Cedar Rapids. All the advantages of civilization but you’re out in some of the most beautiful country in the US. Trust me; go see it.

It’s all about the wildlife to me. Carved mountains are interesting, sure, and we’ll get to that, but seeing wildlife up close is the best thing about travel anyplace. We don’t even go into cities except for airports, anymore. I was raised in New York City. You couldn’t make me live there if you put a gun to my head.

So, Custer State Park is famous for wildlife, among folks who are into it. And it’s contiguous with Wind Cave NP, which we’ll also get to. And anyway, bison just roam all over the place. The herds are “managed” which means they are kept at a size the grazing land of the parks will support, but they live pretty much independently, except for the yearly round-up and medical care.

Bison and other animals can’t read, or maybe they can, and just like to confound visitors. They like to pop up and poop in a parking area, or amble across the road while you fumble for your camera. Their favorite thing to do is show you their ass when you are trying to take pictures. They all do it, and it’s no coincidence.




So, even though the official Wildlife Loop is a particular 12 miles of road, you will see everything everywhere, and you will understand “where the buffalo [sic] roam, and the deer and the antelope play.” All they do is play. Why should they work? We did all we could to wipe them out in the 19th century, and I think they get a pass for as long as time lasts.

By the way, their proper name is bison bison. They are not “buffalo.” Buffalo are native to Asia and Africa, not North America. But, as usual, we have dumbed down reality for USAians, who resist education in many areas. So every ten feet you will find this sign: “Buffalo are dangerous! Do not approach!” Okay, I’ll stay right here in North America and not bother any buffalo, but excuse me while I stick a firecracker up this bison’s butt, so it’ll turn around and I can take a picture. Here is a bison product:



More on more wildlife next time. That barely scratches the surface of what we saw that day.

Dead/Lead/Wood

So we stayed in Saturday and Sunday it wasn’t raining as much. At first we thought we’d try the Custer Wildlife Loop, but the fog was just too thick, so we started driving toward lower elevations where we could see. We thought we might check out Cedar Rapids, but before we got there, we were offered (at an intersection, not by the Governor or anyone) the option of seeing Deadwood and Lead, which have starred in many a Western. So we thought, why not? and turned left. On the way, we observed Lake Pactola, which is in fact a reservoir, and decided to see it on our way back. What we were hoping for in DeadLeadWoodLand was simply a restaurant where we could sit down and be served a meal, rather than eating takeout in our room or in the car as dictated by Super 8, because we couldn’t leave the dogs “alone.” Since it was a moist, cool day, they could be safely left in the car with all appropriate safety precautions in place.

Outside the “Twin Casino Cities” we had to choose one or the other. We were already AT Deadwood so we chose that. Deadwood is characterized by – you guessed it – dead wood:





The other things in Deadwood are casinos and smoke.





It was the last week of smoke being allowed indoors in South Dakota, and everyone was puffing up a storm. We did manage to locate one smoke-free place and ate there, bison-burger for me, and Joyce had a steak sandwich. It was the first time we had sat down for a meal since Sioux Falls. Seriously. After that unusual experience, we just took a few pictures of what a tourist trap DeadLeadWood is, and left.



All you can do there is buy junk, gamble, and smoke. But we saw it, we had a nice drive, we got out of Custer, and we spotted the local helicopter concession! Yes!

On the way back, we did stop at Lake Pactola, which is very nice and clean and clear (All the air out there is worth the trip in and of itself. Never smelled anything like it.)






And in the lake is a funny island, a tiny little thing, very picturesque, with an American flag planted on top.



Now, this brings up an interesting question: Why, in an interior state, in the middle of a national forest, in a lake, on an island too small to support even one private dwelling, would you need a flag? Is there some danger it might be claimed by Mexico or Canada?

Foreign nation: “Excuse us, our island slipped. Can we have it back, please?”

South Dakota: “No, by God, this is OUR island! Get out of here!” (Slams flagpole into ground). “Well, I guess we showed them!”

Yeah, that must be how it got there.

Badlands: Not all that bad

Sorry for the lengthy absence. We had computer/internet issues in Custer, and couldn't even be sure what was wrong until we left. But I kept writing and uploading pictures, and now, at least, here are some blogs; pictures to follow.

So today was our reason for the extra night in Wall: the Badlands Loop. You drive 20 miles back east on the Interstate, drive west on the loop for 32 miles, and end up right back in Wall. Guess how long that takes. Give up? Six hours. Could take even longer if you hiked some trails, which we didn't because dogs aren't allowed. You really don't want to get off the boardwalks on a hot day anyhow; you would die out there. So it's bad because there's almost no good weather in this area. It's either hot and dry or wet and nasty. Hot and dry is better for seeing it, so we were lucky that way. The Badlands were originally named by the French explorers who tried to pass through. They were "bad lands to travel through." Silly explorers, they should have used the Badlands Loop! All you need is a good road and an air conditioned car, and the lands are not so bad at all.


I'm putting up a link: http://www.nps.gov/badl/

as well as a few photos because there is just so much to look at. The Prairie Home is interesting, and they have Prairie Dogs.





There is wildlife in there, but we only saw deer quite close up.

The best thing is the fascinating geology of the place. Lots of pretty rocks and vistas. Very colorful and crazy- looking, like the moon, or Antarctica.





We stopped everywhere, and walked all the little boardwalks, taking turns holding the dogs. It was a little overcast sometimes, but mostly sunny and clear. If you get up this way, make time for the Badlands Loop in the lands that are not so bad after all.

(Hole in the) Wall

By the way, if you haven't already done so, go back and look at the pictures in the earier posts. You can enlarge them by clicking on them.

Also, I want to thank the folks who have commented. I have tried to answer you but Blogspot won't let me answer my own comments! If anyone knows how to overcome this, please leave a comment!

So we thought this leg would be just bloody awful: 300 miles due west in high winds and heat. Having lowered our expecations, it didn't turn out as badly as we had feared.

The AAA TripTik was marked "Rough" "Rough" "Rough" all the way across the state, and with the high winds on the rough roads and all the road work going on, we started thinking we ought to return east through North Dakota. Luckily, the really bad roads lasted less than 100 miles. The state quits being pretty about one third of the way across, and you have endlessly straight roads and flat, treeless countryside. But then, about two-thirds of the way over, it gets interesting again, because you reach the Badlands.

We will discuss why these lands are bad tomorrow, but for now you're going to hear all about Murdo and Wall, South Dakota. We're driving and driving and driving along this long straight road through basically featureless landscape, and after a while we get hungry. So we decide we'll get off at the next promising exit.

The next three exits are "No Services" and two more are nothing but gas stations with maybe a convenience store. Nah, not that hungry. Finally we see an exit coming up that guarantees "Dining" so we get off in Murdo. Probably Murdo was a person. I have't been interested enough yet to look. In Murdo, we found two "Dining" opportunities. One looked like an old-fashioned ice cream/burger joint so we went there. And just after Joyce went in to order, the middle and high schools let out for some sort of break and they all descended on this one place. This was the school district for an entire county, six grades, maybe 60 kids, total. Depresssing! Because we could leave! There is nothing in Murdo except this rather questionable car museum and several gas stations where you PAY INSIDE. It was very much like American Graffiti in terms of social development. One girl had an iPod. No one had a cell phone. Out of curiosity I tried mine and "No Service." Honestly, it was another place I was glad to leave. Once we got to Custer, the Western terminus of our trip, we actually found a tour brochure for Murdo advertising nine restaurants and seven hotels. Bite me. Maybe in 1955, and then again, maybe never.

So we drove on to Wall. All across the desert, I mean, plains, there are these never-ending signs advertising Wall Drug and other Wall "points of interest." So we thought it would be something like South of the Border in South Carolina, where you see signs for the place for 300 miles from any direction, and then, when you arrive, it's a super-enormous tacky-fest.

Wall is a tiny little tacky-fest. It's a block-long store selling "Western souvenirs" out the wazoo. Oh, sure, we bought some of the darned things. I had to have a back-scratcher. Joyce persisted in her never-ending quest for embroidered tee-shirts and refrigerator magnets. But we bought a lot less than we expected to be able to, because the stuff is pretty picked-over and tacky, although it IS cheap. And they have other "attractions" such as petrified cowpunchers you can pose with and a Western "art gallery" (think velvet paintings and thigs made out of twigs).



When we came out, we found a busload of German tourists laughing their asses off in the street, and we didn't blame them a bit.




Our hotel was so bad, it was hilarious. The pool looked like a swamp and smelled like a cesspool. We asked for some things we considered rather basic and they didn't have any: take-out menus, a candy machine, hangers, cream cheese at the continental breakfast. They had no hand lotion, but offered us a lot of shampoos. I think it was a family-run place and they were struggling. We didn't give them any grief because we had the place to ourselves for two days (apparently no one stays in Wall for two days) and they were very nice, though frequently apologetic. The room itself was enormous, and the place was again, a little piece of 1955 motor court.




Next time: Why badlands are bad.